May marks the month of Mental Health Awareness and how important our health is. It is important to understand mental health is like your physical health; you need to take care of yourself. If you let your physical health decline then your mental health declines, too. And well, I often forget to be mindful of myself.

For years, I ignored the slogan, “Strong Mind, Strong Body.” I know that eating clean, getting rest and managing your life stressors are crucial. But when you’re severely depressed, that’s more complicated to do. For me, getting out of bed and actually doing some housework is a crowning achievement for me. Getting outside of the house is also another achievement, too.

I hoped with all the current events such as school shooting would prompt talks of mental health and hopefully, as a society, we would stop demoralizing or placing stigma on us sufferers. When I was a youngster in high school, I remember Columbine. I was in school that day. I had a classmate kill themselves with a gun.

I don’t understand how some still think mental health is no big deal. It’s serious in so many ways. Your life is never the same once mental health problems come barging in your life. I will forever be in the same body, with the same demons that I fight every day and probably will end up dying trying to fight them.

What will always piss me off is people that don’t understand. People who think one can “get over it” or “slap on a happy face.” Sure, give me some happy drugs and I will be happy. It doesn’t work like that. Many people ask me daily, “Are you OK? Why so glum?”

It’s a constant annoyance in a heartless and cruel world where love exists somewhere, just not in my vicinity. And living with demons isn’t hard enough, working in a hostile environment is even worse. I enjoy my job, but not enough to quit doing it. For one, it would have to be something significant or I’d have to find other employment or get really bored with my job to leave.

But dealing with hostility is nothing new to me. I’ve worked in many hostile environments in my lifetime and wouldn’t go back. Every employee has their own temperament and their ways of living. Working with people that are unfriendly or moody isn’t stressful for my sanity. I can’t stand squabbles between employees. But the real hostility comes from the clients themselves. I always feel like I’m treated as a slave or a servant. In the food service industry, I do serve people, but I’m not a slave. And people tend to treat me like one.

I hate it with a passion. Some are very entitled and snap their fingers for service. And I’m like, “Relax over there, it’s coming.” For example: a nurse came in for her java and started a conversation with her about her job. She didn’t really care because she said, “How long is my java going to take?” I said, “Only a couple minutes.” She replied, “Two minutes starting now!” I was like OK, I’m trying to connect with you because it’s my job and you’re giving me grief because you’re impatient???? I said to myself, “Are we in a hurry because we will be late for work?” I never felt so useless before. It’s like no “Thank You” or “Thank You for asking about me?” Thank you, now I want to die. No respect. Just in a big hurry.

People don’t realize they’re causing a hostile environment by being demanding and rude. They cause more stress and more anxiety for everyone by being an ass. If I ever left my job, it would be because of the growing hostility customers bring in.

I try to be the most professional and upbeat (I try) manager out there, but don’t get the message. I always remind people to be mindful. Be mindful of your fellow business owner and fellow brother & sister. Other days when people are being rude I go into my back office and punch the desk. I’m not a violent person and keep my anger under control, but some people can cause my vitals to boil. My job is very stressful, probably too stressful for my sanity, but I enjoy my work and whoever said life was easy.