The soothing sound of raindrops falling and quiet sound of thunder used to keep my anxiety down. Those quiet meditation rain sounds I find pleasure in now, really suck.

This past week is giving me PTSD again. As if I don’t suffer enough with a hostile working environment, life struggles, and now the annoyance of Mother Nature’s never ending mood swings, now I’m getting frustrated.

For the past few days, have been constant rain and thunder that’s reminiscent of Harvey. My phone keeps going off with weather alerts I just want to throw it out the window. The drive to work is always fun. Either people drive crazy slow or crazy fast for conditions.

My clients and fellow buddies from the local fire department work their tails off every day and I kept saying, “Hello” every time they passed by. If it wasn’t an accident or fire because of thunder strikes, it was a stalled out car. My friend, who’s the captain, “Man, if only people learned something from rainstorms and hurricanes is that any heavy rain over 6 inches floods your car’s engine causing it to stall. Anything over a foot or two and your car going to float away.”

Believe me, I saw plenty of people floating away. The heaviest was a little more north than my area. One area got so much rain and they flooded badly. And they didn’t flood during Harvey two years ago and that’s the craziest part. Last night at work was the best. The company was offering a promotion, so the store was busy. Just as 7pm hit, here came the rain.

Again I advised my clients to be safe and learn the motto “Turn around, don’t drown.” I’ve been there myself during Harvey and almost died in my car. The lightning show was terrifying and awesome to watch. I was looking out, and the lightning was right above us. The gas station across from us shut down early because of lost power. It’s weird because on they’re adjacent from us, but they’re on the southside and I’m on the northside. So all the southside businesses would go out when one does. It always happens.

One place lost power, and we all lost power once. So it concerned my boss and thought it would be a good idea and close early. For one, not when your business is extremely busy. Two, definitely not closing early without shutting everything down. And most importantly, I will not close during the worst of the storm. I will close when it’s on its way. I may live five minutes away, but others live in different areas and lower lying areas, too. Why would I risk liability like that and put their lives in danger?

Before the storm, I was already stressed out. I have one night manager leaving and it will probably be me picking up the slack before hiring or promote someone. Work can be stressful in whatever field you work in, but I swear everyday it feels like everything falls apart sometimes. Some days, I can’t do anything right. Other days, it will be a partner out sick or the manager breathing down my neck. Or my favorite: a whining and yelling customer. After slicing my finger and putting a nice gash on my forearm this week because of carelessness, I got frustrated to the point of anger.

Who amongst us doesn’t pay attention and accidentally bumps or cuts themselves on something? I do it everyday. Subconsciously, it happens. Oh well, it’s a just a minor cut. Big deal. But truthfully, I need to be careful. This kind of stress and hostile environment takes a toll on me, and I become more anti-social and more angry. Hopefully, all this rain will go away soon and I can at least enjoy life for five minutes.