It’s been a while and I’m back. I’ve been super busy and stressed out lately. How it’s April already is beyond me? I sneezed, and it’s now April. Maybe that’s what happened? I’ve been working very hard at work, with the book, and working on myself, too.
I’ve been trying to tell myself that I can do it. I can get out of bed everyday even though it’s hard and I don’t feel like it. I have to kick myself in the butt to get moving. I’ve been working a lot on my outlook and attitude at work. When depression follows you like the paparazzi, it can be a little difficult to maintain a happy face. I give off a low energy, and anti-social vibe sometimes because some days with mental illness are tough.
I try to tell myself that it’s a new day and to look on the bright side. I try. Work is the same. Busy as usual and only to get busier come summer. Summertime causes a little more stress on my plate because I know some employees will work more in the summer and I will have to hire more help. Finding great employees can be challenging. I found a couple of great ones, and they turned out to be the opposite. It happens. I had one that I really liked and had a lot of faith only to learn that my potential employee had failed their background check. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hire that person.
I finally stopped procrastinating with my book. I had a lot of edits and fellow readers read it and made different changes. Simple grammatical errors were the most common goofs I made after I finished writing. I re-read it again yesterday and today and reshaped certain things including the chapter on my experiences in retail. I didn’t want to sound like a bitter woman stuck in a job that they hate because they’ve encountered too many customer complaints over the years. I get a little frustrated sometimes with my job and complaints are a part of the job. It helps to remember that every day isn’t that bad and the job doesn’t really suck. It’s my mental health that looks at my job with a negative outlook.
I finished the paperback version. Yay! I’ve been wrestling over a selling price because you don’t want to overcharge and make nothing off of it. Or price it too low that no one will read it. So I ask and think to myself, “It’s your book. How many do you want to sell?” Once I establish a reasonable price, then it will be available and it usually takes 72 hours to hit Amazon.
Hopefully, I’ll stop slacking off and let this chapter come to a close and start a new journey. I’ve been reassuring myself that if it doesn’t sell, then I still should be proud of myself to spending an entire year writing about something that matters to me. One thing this journey taught me was to be brave and less ashamed of who I am and what I live with.