Am I ready? Is my story ready?

Is this my story? Really? Am I ready to publish for the entire world to see?

The other day, I posted a post regarding the completion of a long journey of writing a book. One thing I’m learning is to let go of the book. It doesn’t suck, and I have to stop nitpicking. There’s nothing wrong with correcting grammar, spelling, and punctuation; but re-reading twenty chapters is exhausting.

I had to eliminate some repetitiveness that I found in different chapters. It happens. We want to say so much on one page that we may repeat that by accident in a different chapter. This is all new unchartered territory for me. I’m very critical of myself and writing. I try not to be, but I’m human. I think to myself, “Is this any good? Will someone read it?” My anxiety isn’t taking it so well.

I need to stay encouraged and think on the bright side. This is my first book. I didn’t know what I was doing when I started in the workforce years ago. I learned as I go. That’s what this whole year has been: learning. I learned how to write and learn how to write the right way. Thank you, Grammarly. I didn’t realize the errors made when I started writing.

How can you learn without a little trial and error? No one gets it right out of the gate. My biggest fear is that the book will be the biggest disaster known to man. Again, I need to be kinder to myself. I think about how a reader would react when they read my story. Does this make sense? Is the tone of the piece crystal clear? This story is about living with mental illness and learning how to survive living like this. One can’t screw up one’s story that bad, can I?

I need to stop picking it at my story and take a breather. My story regarding my career is an area that’s very personal to me. I don’t want people to assume that I hate my life and hate my job. Because I don’t. I loathe some parts of the job. My career and the people that have challenged me, have made me the person that I am now. A lot of my experiences in retail are frustrating and while in general, it’s my job and I enjoy running a business. So don’t assume my entire years of retail experience are a waste, but quite the learning experience.

Certain events have propelled so much change in my life both good and bad. I will finish and publish it. I want to get it right first.

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