It’s been a very LONG weekend, emphasis on the long part. The holidays are finally over until Christmas. Thank God. The weather is bipolar in a way because it’s warm and sunny one day and chilly and cold the next day. My entire body including my head is saying, “Enough is enough.”
The past few days I’ve felt under the weather, but still manageable. Stress can be a cruel mistress especially on one’s stomach. My anxiety was bad this weekend and I’m not surprised.
I always feel depressed on my birthday because it’s always towards the end of the year and around Thanksgiving. I tend to overeat during the holidays just because of stress and frustration at work. I didn’t even notice the time change earlier this month because the flu bit me square in the butt. I don’t feel depressed when 5 or 6 pm hits and the sunsets. Maybe I’m depressed and I just don’t notice.
Christmas music is everywhere and I can’t escape it. I hate most Christmas music in general. It has to be genuine carols that really depict the true meaning of Christmas then I will not listen to them. If I had it my way, I would only listen to Christmas music until Christmas Eve and Day and that’s all. Working in retail for sixteen years and listening to countless hours of the same Christmas tunes from all different genres and singers, I can’t take one song. Anything from Mariah Carey’s Christmas album drives me wild. I can’t take listening to it for one minute. Not to say, I hate the holidays, I love Christmas, I don’t love all of the repetitive music. This year, it’s hard to be happy for Christmas because I don’t have the money to spend on loved ones for Christmas.
In April, I sought treatment for stressed induced migraines which the urgent care doctor thought it was originally a stroke, but wasn’t. It was a ruse to elevate my blood pressure and heart rate further than it was already. With insurance it still cost me an arm and a leg.
In August, I suffered from sleep deprivation and horrible insomnia. I again went to my primary doctor and spent more money on a home sleep study only to discover that my problems were caused by poor habits such as eating and drinking before bed. You should only consume water and read a book or de-stress yourself. Then decided to get healthy by eliminating my soda addiction and started drinking water, coffee and tea. I bought an activity tracker to help motivate and help me exercise. Then in late September, came the accident that sidelined me for six weeks. More money spent on medical care and rehabilitation. It was as if I stepped on a crack and broke my mother’s back. That was my luck this year.
All in all, I want this year to be done. I can start fresh and focus on new things.