Arguably one the of the year’s top stories: is the Time’s Up and #Me Too movement. Many brave victims finally shared their stories about abuse and the aftermath. This is 2018 and no one should have endure sick unwanted acts of sexual harassment and assault by anyone. I mean anyone.
I don’t care if you have money, power, and status; there is no excuse for the abuse of power. Many people live in pure hell and absolute torture. How sickening is it when you’re working in the workforce and someone says: “Hey, if you do this sexual act, I can get you any job you want.” Personally, if someone in the job said that to me not only would you be staring a very angry woman (who lives with mental illness and inner demons already) but you’ll be handcuffed so fast it will make your head spin. I don’t put up with any crap that comes my way. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female, you will not be inflicting me with your harassment or assault.
One thing that I’ve had experienced before is both male and female superiors misjudging me for a child and harassing me. Pretty much every district manager that I’ve had said: “You’re the shyest person that I’ve ever met. Or you’re very unusual. Open up a little bit.” Stop right there. One, you don’t know me. And two, I’m this close to calling HR on your ass. I’ve been verbally and mentally abused by male superiors and also female superiors, too. It’s a good thing that I stay professional on the job and not lose control and attacking you. One district manager tried to get me fired from my job back in Wisconsin. I never told a soul. But every time, he came in the store it was always negative. He would fake smile at you and start small talk. As a professional, just do your job and check out the store and move on to the next store in the district. I have money to make. I have a sales goal to reach. One time, he said: “You’re not right for this job. I don’t believe in you as a manager.” Again, his words, not mine. Fine. I’ll keep a log of your beloved comments.
He went as far as to say: “If you were my wife, you would be at home with the children.” I said: “First off, I’m not your wife. It’s bad enough that your my employer, but to talk and treat me this way is not acceptable. You can show yourself out.” If you know me, I don’t put with any crap from anyone. I called HR and his boss on him. He tried to get me fired because he didn’t like me and because he had power. He mentally and verbally abused me. He went as far as spying on me. He would get his “secret shoppers” as he called it and they would come in the store and start chaos. I immediately knew they were his friends or cartel because I’ve seen them before and other managers endured the same abuse as me. I was the only one that had the guts to stop this pervert and let my voice be heard.
One time at another job, I endured abuse (mental and verbal) from two female superiors. I was working at a clothing store at the time. I was in college and I was trying to balance two jobs, too. The one district manager was by far one of the rudest managers that I’ve encountered. I don’t know why some find it easy to prey on me. My face is looks younger than my actual age, but that doesn’t mean anything. This female superior targeted me only. Why am I your fall guy? You don’t mess with me. She would always verbally and mentally abuse me and criticize the way that I work. First off, I don’t make six figures and if I did then I would have a lot more class than some. I wouldn’t act like a complete jerk because I have money and the power. Long story short, the abuse got so bad that I quit that job after six months. That was six months of hell. You apply for a job to earn money but also work experience, right? And to make new friends and meet new people, not to get abused. One of the other managers that I worked with was younger than me and she was the biggest kiss up that I’ve ever met. She cohorted with the district manager. She was like a teacher’s pet. I worked my way up to manager the old-fashioned way: blood, sweat, and tears. I never stepped on anyone or backstabbed another to get what I wanted.
Every time that we had to work with each other, it was like a fire was brewing in the store. We were in sales together and she would steal my customers so that she could have them and the sale. First off, I was with them first and they’re not yours. It was like working with a bratty young child. I was a lot more mature than she was. One day, things got really sour between us when I got the stomach flu. I was out for two weeks because it was that bad and she was my only other option. Other managers could only cover so much, but she said that she couldn’t cover because she was busy. Busy, my ass. I had to show up for work with the stomach flu. Do you know how many times I stopped on the freeway and on the way into the store just to throw up? Too many. I spent 8 hours of my shift in the back in the bathroom just throwing up. At one point, she came in the store doing nothing and I said: “Why are you here? If you’re here to take my shift then I’m out of here.” She said: “Nope, I just came into pick something up and go out for a night on the town.” Imagine the war that ensued because of that. I’ve never worked with such heartless fools like that before.
When I moved to Starbucks, both male superiors did the same exact thing. They would hound me and tried to get my staff and I in trouble. Ridiculous, right? But that’s what people with money and power do. They don’t care, they’re ruthless and have a heart of a Grinch. One district manager would do anything to get us in trouble. Anything. He was quite the snitch. Again, he’s much younger than me by 10 years. He has it out for a lot of people. I remember he tried getting us in trouble by closing early when it wasn’t even his district. It’s one thing to say something and to let us know that we’re making a mistake. Then we can correct it. But no, he will not introduce himself to you or anyone and will start finding ways to snitch on you. Once my store was immaculate head to toe and outside someone had dropped a napkin on the ground. Guess what? He snitched and I had to listen to my current district manager lecture me on how the store needs to be presentable for everyone including other employees. I get it, I’m not stupid and I know a snitch or con artist when I see one. Apparently, I wasn’t the only store and manager to know about this. So I started keeping a log of things like that for protection. No one should have endure abuse from someone who’s higher up than you. My new district manager is better but it took a long time for him to warm up to me.
His attitude was the same like the other managers: “You’re very quiet. Open up more.” Again, you don’t know me and what’s wrong with being a little shy? Is it a crime? No. Doesn’t it mean that I don’t know what I’m doing? Oh hell, no. He, too, would find something to rag on us about and I said: “Nope, we’re not playing this game.” What these people don’t realize is that status means nothing to me. I don’t care if you make six figures or not, the point is: be professional and not an ass. We will get along fine if you stay professional and just do your job and let me do mine. It’s not that hard. What a lot of them don’t know and never will is that I suffer from depression. Depression causes me to act this way and feel this way. Did I ask for it? NO! Did I asked to be scrutinized or abused? Hell NO!
Thankfully, I haven’t been raped or experienced physical abuse because if I did then you will be in jail faster than you can say it. If you make it to jail after I attack you (physically) then good luck. I won’t attack unless it’s self-defense and I’m not afraid to speak up and make my voice heard.
If you’ve experienced abuse from your superiors like me and from others: Speak up. Don’t let them get away with it.