Let’s get physical, physical
I wanna get physical
Let’s get into physical
Let me hear your body talk, your body talk
Let me hear your body talk (Sung by Olivia Newton-John)

In a previous post, I talked about how my weight has skyrocketed over the past 13 years. One of the major issues aside from sleep, is my weight. Again, I shouldn’t be so critical of how I look and how much different I am compared to other women, but I need to get back into shape. For health reasons, I shouldn’t be no more than 120-140lbs since I’m only 5’5″. And I weigh more than that. I’m terrified of writing that I need to lose 100lbs because I’m at 240lbs. Gulp! Again, most of it is part medication and the majority is my eating habits. Guilty! Arrest me and book me with charges.

I should be eating the standard three healthy meals a day with a few healthy snacks, too, but I don’t. I’m working on that. Believe me, when you’re stuck in a depressed state every day, it’s hard on so many levels. I’ve tried diets before and I will commit for the first couple of days and then quit. Sometimes, I get bored with the diet or get upset that I can’t eat this or that. (FYI, don’t deprive yourself and always eat things in moderation!) I don’t like fruits and vegetables, but they’re healthy for you. Same goes with fish including salmon; I absolutely hate the taste and texture of it including the smell. Exercising is another thing that I need to do aside from walking. When I’m at work, I’m always on my feet and exerting myself. Off work, I’m one lazy woman. Don’t judge. When our workday is over, we want to relax, right? Take a nap, watch a movie or take a bath is relaxing.

But being a coach potato isn’t a good idea. Since I was diagnosed with sciatica in my lower back, my doctor gave me some exercises to help with the pain aside from painkillers. I admit that I did do the exercises on the first day and quit afterwards. You can call it laziness but I call it “my unmotivated mind” or low dopamine levels in my brain that refuses to do the work. I can’t tell you how much I want to lose weight and put in the effort, but my mind is saying “Don’t bother.” That’s really annoying. I’m trying to get myself healthy again and live a longer life, but no! My brain isn’t trained like I want it to.

If you’re like me and you have zero motivation at all, seeking the help of a (expensive, of course) professional isn’t a bad idea. There are ton of professionals out there that can help you lose weight and maintain a healthy diet. There are mental health professionals out there that can help with your mental health problems. There’s always help available when you need it. Don’t be afraid to speak up and get the help you need.

One of the things that I’m looking into a good fitness center. (One that’s worth the money!) One that I can go and exercise the right way. It can be one on one or in a group. I don’t necessarily want to spend so much and get nothing out of it. For me to workout on a consistent and daily basis, I need someone to motivate me to do this or otherwise, forget it. Same thing goes with dieting, I need someone who I can trust and work out a meal plan that works best for me.

Staying true to my word, I started a physical with my primary doctor and I’m not surprised as what the results are going to be. Whether it’s diabetes, hypothyroidism, or any other health problem, I will take it one day at time. If I turn out to be a diabetic (probably) then it will give me motivation to lose weight. Do you know how fast your health risk goes up when you have diabetes. A lot. We’re talking about cardiovascular risks such as heart attack and stroke. Scary things.

This is one major struggle for the past 13 years: my weight and eating habits. I’m guilty just like anyone else. I don’t always eat what I should and will neglect myself. Again, people don’t understand what it’s like living in darkness and how much life changes in so many ways. I’ve dealt with things that I’ve never experienced such as weight gain, binge eating, insomnia, anxiety, panic attack, and consistent sadness.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/weightloss/50-weight-loss-breakthroughs-your-doctor-wishes-you-knew/ss-BBMfbXO?li=BBnba9O#image=1

Useful tips at the bottom there!