Captain’s Log: Stardate 090718. Day two of melatonin usage. Spock…have you noticed any changes in the sleeping patterns since the usage of melatonin? Let’s we are two days and two nights into it and hilariously woke up at the same times each morning: 8:30am. Weird. Last night, I was home by 11:45pm. And I was sleepy from an exhausting day at work and had to deal with very cranky customers that needed their caffeine fix. Even at 10pm at night! People needed java to stay up either for work or for school. I used to stay up all night during college.

One 5mg of melatonin was logged in at 11:50pm and didn’t fully reach REM stage until 12:45am. Another hour of waiting. Remind you that I have a schedule that includes changing into pajamas, brushing my teeth, putting two dogs to sleep, and winding down my body after a long eight hour shift.

But you can’t expect your circadian rhythm to reset overnight? It doesn’t work like that. It takes time for melatonin to build up in your system. After I got up and got dressed, I went to my local Walgreens and got myself a flu shot. This is my religion every September because one, I work with many people and two, you can get sick easily from anywhere. I’m one of those people who get sick very bad even when I do everything in my power to keep my immune system strong. When a cold kicks in by a sore throat, I immediately start taking care of it and get some Vitamin C in my body. Also washing your hands and not touching your face is helpful, too.

My pharmacist asked how I was doing. I told her that insomnia is kicking me in the butt and started taking melatonin in order to help sleep. She said that she knows what it’s like and if I need advice then call her with questions. She did say that melatonin helps and takes about a month to kick in. Oh damn. More waiting.

Thankfully, the last two nights have been nice restful uninterrupted sleep. But who knows what the coming days will be like. Your sleep really depends on what’s going on in your life. If life is chaotic then you won’t be sleeping hardly at all. If life is good then enjoy sleeping like a baby.

This sleep log isn’t a bad idea. Two nights in a row, I went to bed an another later because one night was my day off and the other night was a work night. But the melatonin was taken around the same time. It did take 60 minutes to finally konk out and sleep. My drowsiness during the daytime is still there, but not as bad. Stress has been low when I’m not working. On duty and dealing with difficult people causes my anxiety and blood pressure to skyrocket into the next county. I don’t know why some have to be so demanding? But you do what you have to do and get paid, right? I did notice that drinking more water and less caffeine and eating lighter at dinner have been making a difference for me. One of my co-workers asked me if I lost weight. I honestly, don’t know. I don’t believe in scales nor do I stare at the number on it. However, I still have a lot of more weight to lose in the coming weeks.

On September 17th, a change will occur. I will start a new journey with the help of my doctor and a dietician and get my butt into shape. This will probably help relieve a lot of aches and pains such as sciatica in my lower back. Overall, it will make my mood a lot happier and less grouchy. I can’t stand when people ask if I’m OK when they look at me on the job. Of course, I’m OK. Just don’t stress me out and there will be no problems. It will take a lot of willpower and determination on my part, but if others can lose weight why can’t I? Changing your lifestyle will make your depression more tolerant to live with. Bingeing all day on junk food and caffeine and not exercising makes you more angry. Yes, it took me thirteen years to figure this out. Denial is an ugly thing, isn’t it? Change is possible. You just have to put in the effort.