To have kids or not to have kids: That is the real question!

being a mom

Some days I think about having kids, and typically what happens is that my dream of having of them gets squashed by reality. You envision in your mind about what how many kids you want, what they will look like, who they will take after (you or your significant other), and what they will be when they grow up and etc. But that dream gets shattered when reality sets in and you encounter some kids (not all!) and then you think to yourself: “Nope, I don’t want them that badly.”

I have a lot people who I know that are happily married and have and/or expecting children. They will all say that it’s wonderful and is the best decision of their lives. True, but remember children are EXPENSIVE and parenthood is STRESSFUL. Children don’t come with manuals and you can read all the books you want about parenthood, but you’re still pretty clueless once the baby arrives. You pretty much learn as you go.

I love checking out little babies. Who doesn’t love babies? I usually ask the parent first before I coo at the baby. I’m respectful and I will not just come up to you and your baby and start playing with them. That’s not me! Once, that child starts screaming, I’m out of there. This is where my biological clock says: “Thanks, but no thanks.” But remember that babies cry and it’s their form of communication.

FYI, (in the picture below, I personally wouldn’t do that!)

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There’s numerous reasons as to why I don’t want kids: First, I have to find the “one” in order to have kids (Call me crazy, but I rather be married and then have kids), secondly, the cost of children is outrageous. Next, I don’t view myself as a natural mother, but most of all, the one thing that I don’t want to pass down to my children is my depression, anxiety and my panic disorder. Granted, hereditary runs through families and there’s nothing you can do about that. Also postpartum depression is something that I’m terrified of because I know people who have depression and had kids, and got postpartum depression and it made their depression A LOT worse than before.

But one of the other reasons that I don’t want kids is most kids are very unruly and have very little manners. Throughout my 16 years in retail, I’ve seen kids kick, scream, and throw tantrums in my store. Even when I’m shopping, I don’t want to hear someone’s kids screaming bloody murder or running all over the store. If I were to have kids, I would instill discipline, manners, etiquette and above all, NO electronic devices! I can’t stand kids nowadays that are addicted to their devices. I call it the “digital babysitter.” For example: When I was working the other day, there were three preteen aged kids that were glued (I mean GLUED) to their devices and spent close to three hours on their iPads. Really? Why let your kids spend 3 hours on a device when they could’ve been interacting with other kids.

Whatever happened to go over to a friend’s house and just hanging out? You don’t need to spend all day on your social media accounts or stare at your phone 24/7. I can’t tell you how bad some kids are today at work. Some kids are entitled, immature, and have their parents buy them whatever they want. I have two teenage co-workers that have expensive smartphones and brand new cars. When I was their age, I had the old school Nokia phone and had to buy and pay for my car by myself. Buying your first car, phone, and getting a job builds character and teaches you the value of money. Remember, why should parents pay for everything for you. They shouldn’t.

Some days, I wonder what kind of mother would I be? Personally, I would be a strict parent like my own parents. I would make my children work for whatever they want. If they want a car, phone, or toy, then get a job. I got a job and earned it myself.

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