My hypochondriac self

Fun fact: Very few people know that I’m a hypochondriac. Since, I suffer from anxiety, it’s no surprise that hypochondria is just another thing that I have to live with on a daily basis. When you have anxiety, you always assume the worst case scenario. You always think something bad is going to happen, but really doesn’t.

As I’ve stated in previous posts, mental illness is NO joke at all. My adventures in hypochondria began in 2005 and after I was placed on new anti-depressants. For whatever reason, I always assumed that I would die or this would happen. It would drive my anxiety wild and my mind would start having these crazy thoughts. I remember the times where my panic attacks got so bad, that I genuinely thought that I was having a heart attack or stroke. If you’ve had anxiety or panic attacks before, then you know what I’m talking about. Fun fact: Last year after I was placed on a different anti-depressant, one of the main side effects is nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Well, I experience all of them at least once a month. Every time I go to take my medicine, I always assume the worst and think I will get sick. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.

I remember when my hair would fall out (not in clumps), but it would and it was like when dogs shed and their fur is everywhere. I would brush my hair and a lot of strands would fall out. My hypochondriac self assumed that it was cancer, but stress can really cause your hair fall out. I get more anxious during the flu season. Whenever, I see the sign at the local Walgreens for flu shots. I pick a date (usually will get it in September or early October) and go in and get it done.

I’m a stickler for hygiene and maybe even anal-retentive, too. But I don’t like being sick at all. When I do get sick, I become deathly ill. A few years ago, I got the flu shot and still got a cold. This cold turned into bronchitis (very fast) and nearly missed getting pneumonia. This cold & bronchitis lasted over two months because once I got rid of it, it came back again. So for me, I have to get vaccinated. Another thing that I do is wash my hands. I constantly do this out of habit and mostly out of paranoia. Since I work at Starbucks, there are germs everywhere. You don’t know where other people have been and what they’ve touched and etc. I wash my hands religiously. You may call it OCD, but for me it’s more of my hypochondriac self that causes me to do that. Hypochondria is mostly psychosomatic aka “All in your head.” True, but I’m not the only one with this. This is just another thing that I have to live with because of my depression, anxiety and panic disorder.

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Been there!

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Myself, when I see someone sneeze.

Again, don’t mock what you don’t understand! Remember, a lot of people don’t understand what people with mental illness goes through. So don’t judge at all!

 

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